When problem-solving an issue, it is vital you are objective and strategically select your go-to-person. We have outlined five criteria to select the right person for a second opinion.
When problem-solving, it's crucial to select your go-to person for that all-important second opinion strategically. But there are several vital things to consider before making your objective choice.
One frame of reference limits our problem-solving ability.
Life happens, and we find ourselves solving problems on a regular basis. Our brains are constantly working overtime. Sometimes the answers to problems are relatively simple and come to us quickly. However, there are other times when we require someone to help us work through a situation objectively. Having this go-to person on your side is a critical asset. Sometimes, just knowing you can call on that person for help or even just to listen can be enough to give you the peace of mind for carrying on.
At the same time, sharing your feelings with another person about a situation that you find challenging and emotional can provide significant relief and clarity. Speaking with someone who cares about your feelings is not just valuable, but it also opens the door to fresh viewpoints and further understanding. When we're limited to only our experiences and knowledge, as vast as that may be, it still means we aren't accessing all of the resources available to us.
Don't be afraid to branch out! As much as we like to be our own go-to person, there's always value in getting a second opinion. That is, if it's from a trusted source.
The key is to find the best person to share your problem with.
Of course, you want to take advantage of a point of view from someone who cares about you. But at the same time, that is not personally involved in the situation. So it's essential to ensure that second opinions don't have any personal connections or emotions attached when considering the problem at hand.
(While we're on the subject of "go-to people," here's another post you won't want to miss about parenting: How To Be The Emotional Coach Your Child Needs To Succeed)
Choosing Your Go-To Person
Now, let's look more into the specific qualities your go-to person should have. As tempting as it might be to choose someone who tends to agree with whatever you say, this won't serve you in the long run. Instead, focus on these five qualities for your go-to person.
When you are involved in a challenging situation, and you need a second opinion, make sure you choose someone who:
- You trust
- You feel comfortable talking to
- Is not personally affected by your situation
- Is a good listener
- Thinks rationally, even (and especially) in times of stress
All of these are qualities your go-to person should have. If they don't, it's time to continue your search. Make sure you talk to this individual openly and share all of the details as you know them, remaining as objective as possible. Sharing both the facts and your thoughts and feelings with a trusted advisor will most times be beneficial and hopefully will provide you with a fresh perspective on how to solve the problem.
Don't be afraid to ask someone who you don't always agree with for their opinion: Often, those individuals can be the most objective advisors.
Understanding the importance of having a trusted advisor is also an element of emotional intelligence. Take a look at this link next to learn about emotional intelligence coaching for leaders.
Did you enjoy this article? Here are 3 more just for you:
- A Surprising but Easy Strategy to Reduce Emotional Hijacking
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This article was originally published on September 9, 2017, and has been updated (July 2021).
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