Are YOU the Obstacle in Your Way?

Posted in News, Insights, Motivational

Do you experience negative thoughts and feelings; if so, you could be the obstacle in your way! You can fix how you think by increasing your emotional intelligence.


Are you the obstacle in your way, Marshall Connects, OntarioDid you know that you have approximately 50,000 – 80,000 thoughts popping and out of your mind each day?

Those numbers are accurate! We all have negative thoughts, but here's the thing; there's a special connection between what you think and feel, both physically and emotionally. It's our powerful brain at work. I write and speak about this and emotional intelligence frequently because it is such an important topic. You can find a great deal of information about emotional intelligence and how to overcome obstacles in my new book, The Power of Emotion.

All of these thoughts can become obstacles. I have experienced thoughts of regret, guilt, worry, anxiety, which affect my emotions. Likely you feel them too, and presumably, they're holding you back. These are stagnant feelings. They don't do anything except prevent us from moving forward like a vehicle spinning wheels in a ditch. These thoughts waste our time by encouraging us to overthink and potentially create issues that don't exist.

Thoughts that Cloud our Decisions

Do you ever find that sometimes what should be a relatively easy decision isn't? This state occurs when we are thinking in circles. Words like "But what about that" or "I feel so bad that I didn't" or "What if?" are obstacles that cloud our judgement and erode our confidence.

How to Remove the Obstacles

What if those thoughts weren't there? Then what would your message say? What would your next move be? What if your thinking was positive, always trusting and always moving you forward, not static? It's frightening, isn't it? 'We need to play 'devil's advocate.' 'We need to protect ourselves. Those feelings prevent us from being positive and from trusting in ourselves and others. Due diligence is critical – logical and positive thinking, including positive self-talk, will reduce these obstacles.

As we increase our emotional intelligence and become self-aware, our emotional awareness expands, and we self-manage much better. The results are phenomenal. Remember to retain a positive attitude; negative self-talk is an obstacle that will derail you.

I challenge you this week to try the following:

  • Change the words: always or never into just ‘this time’ or ‘sometimes.’ 
  • Consider situations as unique and separate from other situations. Be careful not to transfer one mistake to all cases, or you may make your problems more significant than they are.
  • Use factual statements like "I made an error or mistake" instead of judgmental words like "I'm an idiot. We want to use accurate and objective statements and help us concentrate on what we can change.
  • Accept responsibility for your actions and don't blame others. You always want to apologize and move forward when you make a mistake. It's equally important not to take on someone else's error or burden if you're not responsible.
  • Become more self-aware by developing your emotional intelligence.

Keep in mind; we believe the story that we tell ourselves each day! Marshall Connects offers Emotional Intelligence Assessments and Coaching to enhance skill development in all areas. When it comes to your success, emotional intelligence is imperative. Without it, you will be the obstacle in your way!


This article was originally published on March 5, 2017, and has been updated (April 2021).

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Are you Emotionally Intelligent?

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Are you Emotionally Intelligent?

Sign up for Linda’s monthly tips to build your Emotional Intelligence and reduce Emotional Hijacking!

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