When it comes to understanding our emotions, we must realize they serve a purpose in sending us vital messages. Being strategic in managing our feelings like anger is crucial, and we must treat it as a valid emotion.
Anybody can become angry - that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way - that is not within everybody's power and is not easy.
Anger is a genuine and essential emotion
Anger is a genuine and essential emotion that must be recognized and managed, not suppressed. Expressing anger reinforces the seriousness of a situation and can be a great motivator. There are times when we need to express our anger to share strong feelings. This emotion can provoke action and help us handle stress and feel calm. Getting to know our feelings and emotions is paramount to building emotional intelligence.
Timing is everything
Some believe that good timing is fate, luck, or even grace. Timing affects just about everything we do in life, so it's vital to develop an awareness of the right time and place.
During sports events, coaches are strategic when they skillfully call a timeout and firmly refocus the team. Timing is everything; they must intervene at the perfect time to use their anger to motivate their team. When managed properly, it can enhance the team's performance and make the difference between winning and losing a game.
Being strategic is essential when practising this skill. Recognizing and understanding your feelings/emotions, including anger, assists you in managing challenging situations appropriately.
Be strategic - use anger purposefully
During my workshops and consulting, I often receive curious looks when sharing that anger is a useful emotion when used strategically. Remember, managing this emotion is much more than controlling your temper; it's more about determining how and when you should purposefully use it.
Overusing any emotion can become meaningless over time. Using a systematic approach, fuelled with anger, may dilute the seriousness of the message and situation. In fact, over time, individuals may ignore the behaviour.
When you feel angry, it should be a rare occasion when you raise your voice or speak firmly. Undeniably, if you always raise your voice in anger and treat every situation with the same emotion or behaviour, you're sending an inconsistent message. However, if you raise your voice in anger, only when necessary, the message is purposeful.
The next time you feel anger, make sure you are strategic with your approach! Be sure to check out many more motivational blogs here. If you'd like to take an emotional intelligence assessment, check this out.
This article was originally published on December 9, 2017, and has been updated (October 2020).
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