When there’s an issue at work or home, who is your go-to person? How’s that working for you? Venting about a situation you find challenging and emotional can provide great relief as well as clarity.
As much as we all need to vent, it’s a good idea to evaluate how much time we spend venting and how much of that is actually moving us towards a solution instead of reinforcing an unproductive habit.
Here’s the thing, while we contemplate the problem, our brain is continually reviewing and examining it.
The challenge is, we’ve only been providing our brain with information from one frame of reference, the one we provide! This one view can certainly limit our problem-solving opportunities. The key is to find the best person to share your problem with. That individual, the one you select as your go-to person for personal and professional challenges will determine how well you progress.
One of the key attributes of moving forward is speaking with someone who is not emotionally invested in your problem.
For example, if you’re having an issue with a team member at work, it’s best to not talk to other colleagues whether they’re directly involved in the project or not, because they’re emotionally tied to the same work you’re doing in one way or another. Their feedback may be biased if they are connected to the situation and you may receive a personal opinion rather than an external objective view. Other attributes to consider when looking for the best person to confide in are:
- Do they have 3-5 years more experience in your field or are they a trusted family member that may have similar experiences they can draw on?
- Do you feel comfortable speaking with them?
- Do they care about you?
- Do you trust them?
- Are they a good listener?
- Do you consider them to be a rational thinker?
Be careful that you don’t select an individual you know will provide support by agreeing with you. Don’t be afraid to ask someone who you don’t always agree with for their opinion, sometimes these individuals can be the most objective advisors.